Yes, The World Needs A 'Captain Planet' Movie Starring Don Cheadle & It HAS To Be Just Like This

by Edward Davis
August 31, 2011 8:47 AM
5 Comments
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Last month it was announced that "Transformers: Dark of the Moon" and "Real Steel" producers Don Murphy and Susan Montford had inked a contract with Cartoon Network to develop a live action movie of the animated cartoon, "Captain Planet." Now, if you ever happened to be babysitting a four- to eight-year-old during its early '90s run, you're aware that "Captain Planet" was irony-free and/or perhaps earnest in a way that no longer exists in children's cartoons. Even in the early '90s before slacker culture had set in, "Captain Planet" was the fey, milquetoast hero of children's cartoons especially in comparison to the reference-heavy and very self-aware "Tiny Toons" and "Animaniacs" (the former would begin in 1990, the same year as 'Planet').

Essentially, 'Planet' was a do-gooder environmentalist superhero with zero nuance and personality other than "hey kids, drink your Ovaltine and save trees!" without nary the faintest wink. So when the live-action project was announced this past July, we sort of shook our heads. But now, thanks to Funny Or Die, screenwriters won't have to spend too much time breaking the script. The perfect way to make a "Captain Planet" movie has arrived. The ingredients are this: Don Cheadle as the Captain, and playing him as a bifurcated, two-layer character: 1) A raging sociopath who will smilingly stop at nothing, turning babies, puppies and school children into trees and 2) a violent gangster who will turn on his own fellow Captain Planet fey-ites if they try and stop his eco-friendly world domination.

Hollywood, this shit is a) more interesting and funny than half the projects you announced in the last three weeks and b) already all mapped out for you. Go forth and make millions. You're welcome, signed Funny Or Die. The awesome video below.

Don Cheadle is Captain Planet from Don Cheadle

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More: Films, Actors, Super Hero Films, Don Cheadle

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5 Comments

  • tess | September 16, 2011 12:38 PMReply

    HAAHAHA! i love how the token black planeteer is the one that gets turned into a "fuckin' tree" LOL!

  • JosephT | September 15, 2011 2:54 AMReply

    Wow more hollywood swearing to try to be funny. Fail. Don Cheadle is a great actor but this is beneath him.

  • mightymojo | September 13, 2011 3:03 AMReply

    Its funny how people call anything with a positive message "too preachy" but fully embrace negativity without any protests...just sayin

  • Steven Flores | September 6, 2011 9:04 AMReply

    I hated Captain Planet as well. The preachiness turned me off and there were moments where things were too dramatic.

    The worst episode for me was the one about AIDS which was so heavy-handed and the character that the late, great Liz Taylor played always had tears in her eyes because she's so sad

    That video however was hilarious!!! It explores everything that was wrong with Captain Planet and how Ted Turner's attempt to be a tree-hugger failed. Oh, if Don Cheadle was going to play that part for the movie and in that approach. I will definitely pay to see that.

  • StephenM | August 31, 2011 11:06 AMReply

    I always hated Captain Planet. He was always so preachy, and he always put plants above the needs of human beings working in every-day, industrial-type jobs, so much so that those people were depicted as purely evil, half-human monsters--which seems like a really screwy moral system to me.

    This video captures that contradiction brilliantly. I laughed hard.

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