Ladies and Gentlemen, 2005's Breakthrough Actor--the ever-quotable, highly combustible R. Motherfucking Kelly

So The Reeler has penciled in the first of its holiday-season engagements, with IFP announcing this year's Gotham Awards are set for Nov. 30 at Chelsea Piers. indieWIRE's esteemed editor Eugene Hernandez has all the details from IFP exec Michelle Byrd, including at least one that might leave you reaching for your Maalox, bourbon or both:

In a statement, event co-chair (Sheila) Nevins and (Bob) Yari cited the Gothams as supporting the "vision behind independent filmmaking," but IFP Executive Director Michelle Byrd clarified yesterday that the Gothams are not restricted by the often confusing term, "independent." She told indieWIRE on Monday that for many the term independent signals marginalization, is seen as a badge of honor to others, or has even been viewed as being co-opted. So she added, "By bypassing that word altogether, we are trying to bring it back to the work."

"Co-opted," Michelle? Really? You mean Fox Searchlight and Sony Classics and Focus Features and Warner Independent and Miramax might be encroaching on the low-/no-budget ethos that made IFP such a triumph in the first place? Or do you mean that you want to be able to honor studio films like Before Sunset and Sideways without hating yourself in the morning?

I do not care either way, because the real news is that the Gothams will have three new categories in 2005: Best Ensemble Cast; Best Use of the Arts in a Film; and Best Film Not Playing in Theaters. To which I would like to humbly submit R. Kelly's Trapped in the Closet, Vol. 1-5 for all three. If I may.