No, ma'am, really—we must clear the theater now. Ma'am?

The Times today has a story about the simmering trend among small theater chains toward resort-style moviegoing. You know: Huge theaters. Gourmet snack bars. Oh, and liberal supplies of booze:

The first first-run theater to offer alcohol was the Commodore, a one-screen palace in Portsmouth, Va. And according to In Focus, a trade magazine published by the theater owners association, by 1997 only 14 theaters allowed patrons to drink, either in the lobby or their seats. At the beginning of this year, the magazine said, the number was 270, most operated by independent owners or small chains. Places like the Alamo Drafthouse in Austin, Tex., and two small chains in northern New England, Chunky's and Smitty's, seat customers at tables and offer different versions of dinner and a movie.

In lieu of decent movies, the idea seems to be catching on and could soon hit the NYC area. Sure, IFC Center already employs more bartenders than union projectionists (but really, who does not?), yet it falls about 23 theaters (and one helipad) shy of the "mega-megaplex" planned for the Meadowlands around 2006-07. Manhattan could be next, according to Muvico chain president Hamid Hashemi:

"If the real estate is there, we'll be there," he predicted. In the meantime, he said, they believe they can be profitable in markets with populations of 600,000 or more within a 20-minute drive of the theater. "We can build two buildings in each of the top 50 markets in the country," he said.

Fabulous! We hear there may be a vacancy in the Meatpacking District.