Where is the fire? Where is the fucking fire? (Photo: STV)

Oh, the hell with it—we may as well rename The Reeler "The Harvey Weinstein Adulation Page," especially after all the extraordinary recent developments in which we have seen The Great One's name pop up. Whether he is going to war for the kids or just putting a roof over his minions' heads, Harvey is proving once again that when it comes to saving lives, he has no equal in the film industry.

But do not take my word for it—here is The Hollywood Reporter's Anne Thompson on Harvey's latest shelved-film CPR:

Proof and The Libertine, two films appealing to adults, had been scheduled to open opposite each other September 16. But the movies have won a reprieve because they boast major stars who used their muscle to pull together deals between the divorcing parties, Disney and the Weinstein brothers, who are launching their new Weinstein Co. Neither Proof's Gwyneth Paltrow nor The Libertine's Johnny Depp was willing to go forward into the crowded fall season without help from Harvey Weinstein. They demanded and got him. …

As a result, both Weinstein and new Miramax chief Daniel Battsek will accompany Proof -- which will still open September 16 -- to the upcoming Venice and Toronto film festivals, says one of Proof's producers, John Hart. "The allocation of P&A (print and advertising) spending was determined by Miramax, Disney and Harvey," he says. "They're giving it a big push and support. Harvey loves the movie. Everybody is pulling the same oar right now."

Ah, yes. "Pulling the same oar." Well, whatever crappy euphemism you want to use, Harvey will square shit away—for a price, according to Thompson: "(O)ther sources insist that though "Proof" will remain on its Miramax date, Weinstein is still negotiating for a consulting fee to cover his ongoing involvement on the film."

But what of Depp's The Libertine, which faces an NC-17 and a suffocating early-fall release date? Looks like Disney caved to Depp—whose place in the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise kind of obligates the Mouse to play ball (or eat shit, but whatever) and hand The Libertine over to the Weinstein Company to keep the star happy. Plus, Harvey does not have to go through the excruciating ritual of appealing to the MPAA the way he did with The Great Raid; the Weinstein Company is not a signatory and can just distribute The Libertine without a rating.

You see? Besides getting along with Michael Eisner, there is nothing this man cannot do. Next thing we know, he will be choppering into Louisiana with hurricane aid, ratifying an Iraqi constitution, breaking even on The Brothers Grimm… OK, that last one not so much. But if a miracle is on the horizon, you can bet Harvey's million-watt smile is pushing it our way.