This weekend's (way-past-deadline look at) worthwhile cinematic happenings around New York:

--Once upon a time, you used to be able to count on cranking the television to some snowy UHF channel and viewing either a rerun of The Honeymooners or Perry Mason or—better yet—some dreadful, obsolete sci-fi/horror thriller. Yes, yes, I know what you are going to say: "They do not make them like that anymore." Like that is a bad thing. But anyway, if you are allergic to contemporary schlock, get thee to the Steinhardt Center Saturday night, where Makor Film is screening a double feature to die (or at least suffer) for: The Incredible Shrinking Man (right) and Tarantula. The latter film freaks me out to this day, so do not save me a seat or try to bribe me with popcorn. Not my thing. I can see that theater filling up fast with misty-eyed crap-film aesthetes, however, so I do encourage you to jam down and get a good seat of your own.

--And then there are the semi-schlocky, underground classic horror films that would not show up on regular TV unless some reckless suit got it in his head to hijack the airwaves and give gore power back to the people. Until that happens (and you can stop holding your breath right… about… now), the lovely folks at the Pioneer Theater are breaking their asses trying to fill the void. They kick off their October: Month of Horror series Saturday night with an untouchable one-two-three cult combo of Satan's Playground, The Evil Dead (a double feature, as well) and the toothsome Bava-Argento collaboration Demons at midnight. Satan's Playground filmmaker Dante Tomaselli will be in attendance, and The Reeler hears tickets are selling briskly for this bill as well. Hint hint.

--The 2005 Brooklyn Digifest gets underway over at BAM, featuring the acclaimed documentary A Sidewalk Astronomer as well as the feature You Are Alone, which earned young Jessica Bohl Best Actress honors at this year's Brooklyn International Film Festival. Most notably, check out Vincent Pastore and the iconic punching bag/"man's man" Frank Vincent, a couple of Sopranos vets who will be on hand with free pizza and plenty of insights into their film A Tale of Two Pizzas. Whoa. That right there, my friends, is what they call "shit hot shit."