Cache's Michael Haneke: He only looks like God (Photo: STV)

This weekend's worthwhile cinematic happenings around New York:

--This is me, sniffling: The New York Film Festival winds down this weekend with about as much of a grand finale as you could hope for. As cited earlier, Tristram Shandy: A Cock and Bull Story flings its meta-claws at viewers tonight and tomorrow, while the well-received films by Chereau (Gabrielle), Sokurov (The Sun) and that crusty old buzzard Antonioni (The Passenger, winner of this year's Best Revival Award at the Stonys, lest you forget) take to the screen tomorrow.

However, if you only see one film this weekend at Lincoln Center, let it be Cache, Michael Haneke's psychological thriller about a family reckoning with a stalker who leaves videotapes of their comings and goings on their doorstep. As usual, Haneke is at his best just rolling film—his long stretches of dialogue induce groans at best, narcolepsy at worst—but the film contains two "holy shit" moments that rank among the best since Miike's ex-in-a-bag trick in Audition. And in Avery Fisher Hall, with a huge crowd, your reaction will remind you why you so, so love the cinema.

--Atom Egoyan, producer Robert Lantos and star Alison Lohman will be at Florence Gould Hall tonight to screen and discuss Egoyan's smutty new NC-17 murder mystery Where the Truth Lies. Speaking of the truth, don't bother telling me or anybody else you are going for the riveting story of how a young woman may have died at the hands of a swinging '50s entertainment duo (Kevin Bacon and Colin Firth). Go for the hotttttt sex, with all of its inspired production values and long-take intimacy and for the chance to hear an aggrieved Bacon yelling at least three times, "You do not fuck me!"

However, while I always thought the school-bus-on-ice sequence from The Sweet Hereafter would be the Egoyan image that stuck with me forever, he outdoes himself here with a lesbian sex scene that makes David Lynch look like Zalman King. Gratuitous chauvinist observation: Lohman's journalism skills need polishing, but her nakedness skills are at the top of their game. Hey-ohhh!

--In the unfortunate instance that either of the preceding events should sell out, fear not, Gotham filmgoer! Walk a few blocks down 59th Street, where The ImaginAsian is screening the Asian-British culture-clash comedy Life Translated with stars Jen Li and Cary Woodworth in attendance. And tomorrow, the IA launches its biweekly Celebration of Chinese Cinema series. Running from Saturday until the middle of January, the program emphasizes an assortment of rarely screened Chinese cine-prop classics like Song of Youth and more contemporary fare such as National Anthem and A Soul Haunted by Painting. So no excuses—you have plenty to keep you busy.