When he is not making Clerks 2, Kevin Smith is making lots of friends on the Web (Photo: STV)

This week's New York Magazine Intelligencer blows an impressive wad on local film gossip, including the latest on:

--Ur-underachiever Kevin Smith, with whom The Reeler traded thousands of angry words last summer and who has evidently redirected his voluminous sniffling to detractors at Ain't It Cool News;

--Harvey Weinstein and the fifth-grade teacher who summoned the temerity to deny a serious personal request;

--Two dueling East Hampton newspapers and the, um, "scandal" brewing around the right to publish this year's Hamptons International Film Festival program;

--Matthew McConaughey and the mysteriously regenerative hairline that succeeded where Universal's PR flaks failed: getting Two For the Money mentioned outside the Siberia of NYM's listings pages.

And I was so close to the Matt McConaughey hair scoop! Goddamnit.