Shyamalan: "We have been seduced by the DVD and what will sell the DVD."

Just when you thought the National Association of Theater Owners had brandished the big guns in its war against shrinking distribution windows, shellshocked NATO president John Fithian unveiled the M-bomb yesterday to his beleaguered troops at Orlando's ShowEast Conference.

Candidly calling the collapse of traditional distribution windows "the worst idea I have ever heard," writer-helmer M. Night Shyamalan is taking a public stand urging exhibs and studios to keep the theatrical window intact. ...

"It's greed," he said of plans to shatter tradition. "It's heartless and soulless and disrespectful. And of course, cable companies are behind it, and Internet companies. They need their product. But they have to wait their turn. Wait for the thing to finish its life." ... "Movies are the definitive art form of our lives," said the helmer. "We have been seduced by the DVD and what will sell the DVD. It has been the worst year in cinema for quality."

Shyamalan, evidently not realizing that the studio for which he recently wrapped Lady in the Water actually owns a huge share of those cable and Internet companies, must have also forgotten about those making-of documentaries, childhood films, deleted scenes (with director's introduction, natch), grossly patronizing "Rules and Clues" featurettes and God knows what else that is piled into Disney's multi-DVD Shyamalan Collection. Maybe he did not know there was even more of this on The Village's DVD release last January.

Anyway, in response, the studio system was heard calling for another $5 million Shyamalan script and an order of fresh souls for lunch. And rumor had it Shyamalan flew back to Philly directly to dig through the attic for the next home movie to include in the Lady DVD's special features.