Meet the new face of L'Oreal! (Photo: STV)

Harvey, Harvey, Harvey. If it is not David Carr laying favorable odds on the Weinstein Company's chances for success, then it is the tough crowd at Page Six canonizing Harvey's slim new ass. Or L'Oreal--yes, that L'Oreal--jumping in as the Weinstein brothers' latest business partners.

Or ... or... OK, one thing at a time:

--The gossips are all over Sunday's Derailed premiere at the Loews Lincoln Square, to which I was literally invited and then disinvited when the press turnout exceeded any rational standard. "The crush to get photos of (Jennifer Aniston) was so intense," Page Six reports, "the paparazzi actually toppled the barricade and tumbled onto the red carpet." The afterparty evidently turned into a sort of papal conclave, with everyone from Nic Cage to Regis Philbin bowing at Harvey's altar. Harvey would have gone to the window to greet the throngs gathered outside; alas, Compass has no windows.

--Meanwhile, Lloyd Grove offers up a nugget almost as delicious as chocolate ganache:

With the colorful movie mogul looming a few feet away to preside over the Weinstein Co.'s inaugural release, (director Mikael) Hafstrom stood up to thank the cast - naming Clive Owen, Jennifer Aniston, Vincent Cassel and rapper RZA, among many others. Then he yielded the microphone, only to return a few minutes later. "I, um, meant to include Georgina Chapman, who is also in the movie," Hafstrom said sheepishly, as audience members tittered. The 30-ish Chapman, who plays a hooker in the film, is Harvey Weinstein's girlfriend.

--The Reeler's good friends at Open All Night note that the Weinsteins' own decidedly unambiguous turn at the mic: "Harvey and Bob Weinstein introduced the film to the audience, and we learned that Derailed is the first movie released by the newly formed Weinstein Company. We learned that repeatedly. Don’t forget it. Got that? It’s the first one. They’re very happy about that." Well, yeah! This thing was taking up some valuable shelf space--think of the burden your own housecleaning lifts from your shoulders. Hell, I feel like throwing a party if I can just get through dusting.

--Speaking of firsts, prepare yourself for home hot Weinstein synergy action that would make Lions Gate swallow its tongue:

The Weinstein Company and L'Oreal Paris Create a Beautiful Alliance

NEW YORK, Oct. 31 /PRNewswire/ -- The Weinstein Company is proud to announce a multi-year marketing alliance with L'Oreal Paris, the world's largest beauty brand. This first ever, long-term partnership between a motion picture company and a major cosmetic brand is being established to further the natural association between the worlds of film and beauty.

Of course, the concept linking "Weinstein" and "beauty" goes way, way back--sort of like "Christmas" and "tree"--and everyone saw this coming anyway when L'Oreal jumped on board lst month as one of the presenters of Sunday's premiere.

But what does this mean for cinema--Harvey's one true passion? I have to defer to Film Threat, which wrote this morning, "No word yet as to when the Quentin Tarantino directed L'Oreal commercials will be filmed. He currently has five dozen concepts for them in development." Or maybe an older, more sophisticated Kevin Smith will set Clerks Five at a L'Oreal counter in some suburban New Jersey mall. Only time--and Harvey--will tell.