Hahahahahahaha... ohhh, Lord. *sniff* Secretary! Kleenex! (Photo: STV)

What is that heavy, guttural noise churning up from Tribeca? Could it be? Did Harvey Weinstein arrive at the office today laughing his ass off?

Stung by the dismal box office returns for some Miramax movies along with a few underperforming DVDs, the Walt Disney Co. reported quarterly earnings Thursday that were 26% lower than the year-ago period.

The media conglomerate posted $379 million in net income in its fiscal fourth quarter thanks to solid gains at its television and theme parks divisions, though the results would have been healthier had Disney's movie studio not lost $313 million, reversing a $23 million profit from that unit a year ago. ...

That the studio lost money was no surprise given that it rushed to get lingering Miramax titles--including The Great Raid, The Brothers Grimm, The Underclassman and An Unfinished Life--out in theaters as it revamps that unit under new management. But the financial hit was a bit larger than Disney had forecast when it warned its movie division might lose $250 million-$300 million.

"No surprise" is right, although the Hollywood Reporter also notes that the underachiving Dark Water and straight-to-DVD clusterfucks with actual titles like Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch Has a Glitch also torpedoed the books. But even if Disney had dropped high eight figures on Baby 2: Baby's Got Rabies, no film nor exec could match the influence of a stone-cold killa like Harvey, whose driver probably had to change two flats this morning after all that shuddering laughter in the back seat. Thank God it's Friday, huh, buddy?