White Wine

In their "Buy You a Drink" column, GOOD magazine's mixologists create beverages for newsmakers. This week, the bartenders fashioned twisted cocktails in honor of the mishaps casting 2012's Oscar award ceremony.

It's not only the drinks that make digs at the celebrities; the instructions are where the real insults come in. For the "Brett Ratner," one is asked to "pour out a little for our departed friend," while the drinker is asked to serve Schlitz "lukewarm" to make the "Eddie Murphy." A plain old 5 oz of white wine to "sip judiciously" and "fall asleep before you finish" will give you the "Billy Crystal." Only the Academy is given a proper cocktail, asking for no less than 9 ingredients--each fruity, sweet, and semi-exotic.

As you can imagine, there is a bitter rant about the Oscars interspersed among the cocktail recipes.