Critics Weigh in on Worst Movies of 2012

News
by Maggie Lange
December 31, 2012 7:00 AM
33 Comments
  • |

Critics let the fur fly when they unleash their scorn on the year's worst movies, the dregs at the bottom of the barrel, the flicks that really waste their time. For your reading pleasure we present an assortment of "Worst Movies of the Year" lists.  Our own is right here.

Also, if you want to get meta about it, watch the NextMovie clip at the bottom where the "worst movies of 2012" review themselves.  It's a treat.

Time | Time Staff
"One for the Money"
"The Odd Life of Timothy Green"
"What to Expect When You're Expecting"
"Alex Cross"
"The Lorax"
"This Means War"
"Hyde Park On Hudson"
"John Carter"
"Cloud Atlas"

The Playlist (listed alphabetically) | The Playlist Staff
"360"
"Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter"
"Act of Valor"
"Alex Cross"
"ATM"
"Battleship"
"John Carter"
"Paranormal Activity 4"
"The Raven"
"Red Dawn"
"Resident Evil: Retribution"
"Rock of Ages"
"Taken 2"
"That's My Boy"

IndieWire | Matt Singer
"Taken 2"
"Twilight Saga; Breaking Dawn - Part 2"
"The Devil Inside"
"Alex Cross"
"Gone"

Hit Fix (they went for twenty, the top five are below) | Dave Lewis
"Gone"
"Dario Argento's Dracula 3D"
"Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance"
"Chernobyl Diaries"
"Piranha 3DD"
"This Means War"
"Total Recall"
"Ultrasuede: In Search of Halston"
"Wrath of Titans"

Slate | Dana Stevens
"Battleship"
"Darling Companion"
"Friends with Kids"
"Taken 2"
"The Words"

The Atlantic Wire | Richard Lawson
"Rock of Ages"
"Mirror Mirror"
"Wrath of the Titans"
"Dark Shadows"
"Damsels in Distress"

Village Voice | Critic Poll

"Cloud Atlas"
"God Bless America"
"Hitchcock"
"Hyde Park on Hudson"
"On the Road"
"What to Expect When You're Expecting"
"Battleship"
"Beasts of the Southern Wild"
"That's My Boy"
"Alex Cross"
 

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33 Comments

  • helene | February 24, 2013 2:41 PMReply

    Damn, it Tim, You just reminded me of The Man With the Iron Fists! I was trying so hard to forget that lame ass movie.

    Out of all the movies listed here, I've only seen 2. That's my Boy (yeah it's bad) and Beasts of the Southern Wild (Enjoyed it) but I have actually seen only 1 of the Oscar movies and that was Django Unchained which I thought was good. I can't say I've seen a movie that's really gripped me in along time. Maybe I'm just getting cynical in my old age.

  • Marie | February 24, 2013 5:22 PM

    Beasts of the Southern Wild is nominated for Best Picture, Best Director, Best Adapted Screenplay, and Quvenzhané Wallis is nominated for Best Acress. At nine years old.

  • Tim | February 22, 2013 12:17 PMReply

    How is it that everyone seems to have amnesia regarding Man with the Iron Fists? It's not just one of the worst films from this year, it's one of the worst ever made and widely distributed. Did it get disqualified somehow?

  • StoryMe | February 22, 2013 11:46 AMReply

    Interesting to see Ultrasuede: In Search of Halston included here. I think the only real mistake the filmmaker made was inserting himself into an otherwise entertaining documentary.

  • andrea | February 22, 2013 3:41 AMReply

    I've heard every sort of BS from critics these last few years, but i cannot accept that movies as "beast of the southern wild", "cloud atlas" or even "The words" have been included here. Shame on you. Maybe they should change line of work. They should go take care of the goats.

  • Adam Scott Thompson | February 21, 2013 11:27 PMReply

    Wow... Village Voice took no prisoners.

  • vandywisky | February 19, 2013 10:14 PMReply

    Bravo to HitFix for putting Total Recall on there. Wow. That was truly a piece of S movie. Most of the others on these lists were expected to be S. I didn't expect Hitchcock and Cloud Atlas to be on these "worst of" lists, but I haven't seen either of these films, so I cannot comment on them.

  • SX | February 19, 2013 4:08 PMReply

    What... No AVENGERS anywhere? Now that was a terrible, boring, overblown peace of junk. And no... I did not enjoy Batman either, the later at least had a charismatic leading actor, who did not behave like an asshole

  • Suburban Snob | February 17, 2013 3:50 PMReply

    I want to meet this person who gave Beasts of the Southern Wild the distinction of being one of the year's worst movies. I want to drown him in a bath tub.

  • vandywisky | February 19, 2013 10:16 PM

    Ditto. I'll go ahead and fill the tub.

  • Savagedarky | February 16, 2013 11:16 AMReply

    This all begs the question, who was the worst audience of the year?

  • Ron | February 3, 2013 8:21 PMReply

    Dark Shadows - it was quite disappointing and I'm a big Depp fan.

  • Davide | January 20, 2013 1:07 PMReply

    "Beasts of the Southern Wild" and "cloud Atlas" are worse movie than (picking randomly here from movies not on their list), "Taken 2" and the "Red Dawn" remake?

    I actually had some inherent respect for the prestige of the "Village Voice" anem, if nothing else. Not after reading their 2012 "worst of" list. I hereby nominate it for inclusion in MY Worst of "Worst of" lists!

  • Keyran | January 20, 2013 7:40 AMReply

    I can never understand how most of these lists are kids, tweens, dumb-ass movies reviewed by upper crust tossers who hang out in hipster bars talking about the joy of something they read about somewhere in the blogo-sphere 4 hours earlier and wiki'd a little information so they could info-bomb a conversation and then look smug!
    you want to read a review of a dumb-gross out comedy or latest twilight installment read the reviews in tabloids or "Teen Magazine"... not "The Village
    Voice" or the friggin "Time"

  • huffy | February 20, 2013 8:42 PM

    Why shouldn't serious review outlets talk about studio films? And don't give me the "they're too snobbish" bullshit that everyone pulls when they don't have a real argument. Last time I checked there have been plenty of dumb blockbusters and teen flicks that have been critically acclaimed. The idea that commercial movies should automatically get a pass on being shit because their audiences are insecure about someone not sharing their taste is stupid and is only supporting the release of half-assed cash-ins.

  • Knative | January 25, 2013 7:59 PM

    LOL. If it's crap, why not call it out on its crappiness. Not all teens like crappy movies. Not all tweens even. My eleven year old nephew likes crappy movies, but ironically. He thought Battleship was completely fricking stupid.

  • HIP OP | January 20, 2013 3:20 AMReply

    ---The worst?

    Well, considering that in 2012 franchise slum Holllywood
    had no end of time and money and talent available for
    predictive programming, retreads and cultural incest
    -----EVEN AS they ---'mysteriously overlooked' ---ANY---
    look at teh yet unfolding RED China Halocause

    or 2012's

    --200th Anniversary of the Defeat of Napoleonic Globalism at Moscow

    --100th Anniversary of the Jeckyl Island banking coup against our Republic

    ---40th Anniversary of the Globalist economic handover to MAO TSE TUNG

    ---40th Anniversary of ROE v WADE (---interesting correlation to say the least)

    ----and 60th Anniversary of the awesomely relevant
    ---------RED China
    ---------------Globalism
    --------------------and EUGENICS ---essential----
    ------------------------KOREAN WAR-------------------------------

    UH ---we'd say Hollywood itself was at its WORST. . .

  • matt | January 19, 2013 7:40 PMReply

    Cloud Atlas? God Bless America? Granted they were not as good as I hoped but they were entertaining. Both had good ideas, characters, etc that screwed the pooch on the delivery. They definitely belong on a most DISAPPOINTING list, somewhere below V for Vendetta and Phantom Menace, but not on a worst of the year list.

    And Abe Lincoln Vampire hunter, Piranha 3DD, and The Lorax? They were respectively Stupid fun, Stoopid funn. They never pretended to be anything else and should be judged accordingly.

  • shanaynay | February 21, 2013 10:30 AM

    v for vendetta? disappointing? you're on crack brotha man.

  • matt | January 19, 2013 7:42 PM

    sorry, Stupid Fun, Stoopid fun, and ...actually yeah, that one was the worst dr seuss adaptation since the Grinch. i'll give em that one.

  • Vari Bai Yad | January 18, 2013 4:26 PMReply

    Who the hell works for the Village Voice? Their full list has all kinds of films that may or may not have been overrated, but were certainly not Battleship and Twilight levels of bad. What the hell? Some people really do equate populism with badness, I guess.
    More importantly, who reads the Village Voice anymore?

  • Ed | January 18, 2013 11:55 AMReply

    I can't abide anyone who puts "Beasts of the Southern Wild" on a "Worst of 2012" list. The performances by the actors who played Hushpuppy and her father were incredible and the story thoroughly original.

  • Max FRALEY | February 17, 2013 10:16 PM

    Total supportive of your reference on "BEASTS OF THE SOUTHERN WILD" as viewed by THE VILLAGE VOICE. That alone directed me to give no quality of reading time to their content. Haven't lived in the Naked City since the late 50's. Things have obviously changed in the assignment of qualified writers to do their cinematic surgeries.

  • Archibald | January 11, 2013 5:30 PMReply

    You know, I'm not saying John Carter was a great movie, but I think the media hype over how much of a financial bomb it was (or actually, how much of a bomb it was GOING to be, even before it opened) really colored people's outlook. It's really not a bad film. Not great by any stretch, but there were far worse films released this year.

  • anna | January 11, 2013 3:47 PMReply

    okay even if beasts of the southern wild was overrated, I still don't think it qualifies as worst of the year

  • Tony | January 5, 2013 5:49 AMReply

    Love the Village Voice now, Beasts of the Southern Wild was very overrated and I absolutely did not care for it.
    Cloud Atlas, I am a big Wachowski's fan and they were bound to have at least one fault. Nearly every picture is a phenominal effort with Bound, Matrix, Matrix Reloaded, & the sadly overlooked Speed Racer. Tom Hanks was the worst part of the film and although Halle has an Oscar her acting chops are at times very poor but here she was the shinning star.

  • Zinjo | January 3, 2013 3:51 PMReply

    Well I will disagree with a few choices, The Lorax had it's moments and once you got past the inane 1st act of "Rock of Ages" it was alright. "Total Recall" could have been sooo much worse than it actually turned out to be, so I wouldn't add that to the list either.. However I do agree with the lists for the most part. It is comforting to see "Cloud Atlas" in several lists considering it was a like a Malick picture, all style and visuals but devoid of recognizable substance...

  • Bridget O'Shea | January 3, 2013 12:16 PMReply

    Finally! Someone who thought Beasts Of The Southern Wild was awful. Village Voice critics - you are my people! x

  • Maik | January 2, 2013 10:30 AMReply

    Can't believe that someone would put Cloud Atlas on their list. I mean, it's okay not to like it, but c'mon, the worst of the year?

  • huffy | February 20, 2013 8:51 PM

    A pretty obvious case of a critic reviewing the circumstances surrounding a movie (which is to say a 3-hour ramble on the meaning of life from the Watchowski's) and not the movie itself. And I agree that the film wasn't THAT bad.

  • Nick | February 5, 2013 5:52 PM

    It was dull and too long but hardly the worst movie of the year. Only a film critic would claim such a thing.

  • Mr. Kisses | January 1, 2013 3:15 PMReply

    Friends With Kids is the worst movie of the year.

  • CHUD | January 15, 2013 1:34 AM

    You're a year late, pal.

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