Straights Who Play Gay and Die Painful Death Win the Oscar

by Sophia Savage
November 15, 2011 2:23 PM
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Theron in "Monster"; Penn in "Milk"; Swank in "Boys Don't Cry"; Plummer in "Beginners"; Hanks in "Philadelphia"; DiCaprio in "J. Edgar"
In Gays: Dying for an Oscar, Gold Derby spells out the rules for winning an Oscar in a gay role: "Gay roles can win Oscars but only if the characters, who must die hideous deaths, are portrayed by straight people." Among the Oscar-winners included in their round up: Charlize Theron ("Monster," death by lethal injection), Best Actress, 2003; Tom Hanks ("Philadelphia," death by AIDS), Best Actor, 1993; Hilary Swank ("Boys Don't Cry," death by gun, knife), Best Actress, 1999; and Sean Penn ("Milk," death by gun), Best Actor, 2008. Colin Firth was of course nominated for "A Single Man" but lost (was death by heart attack not painful enough?). Here's the rest.

This gives Leonardo DiCaprio a leg up in the best actor race for "J. Edgar." SPOILER ALERT: And now we know why we're calling "Beginners" star Christopher Plummer, 81, who both comes out and dies of cancer, as the frontrunner for the supporting actor Oscar.

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More: Awards, Oscars, Headliners, Genres, Media

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  • Archie | November 15, 2011 7:28 PMReply

    So Gary Oldman should have had a chance too ,1988.He played gay playwright Joe Orton and died very young because his lover Kenneth Halliwell slayed him to death.;))) Oscar worthy I guess ? LOL

  • Sophia Savage | November 15, 2011 6:57 PMReply

    We recommended reading posts such as this one with a sense of humor.

  • s | November 15, 2011 4:04 PMReply

    this is the dumbest article i've ever read. clearly these people were nominated because of performance. these articles are what make oscar season so obnoxiously unbearable.

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