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Summer's Nine Worst Movie Trailers: Green Lantern, Three Musketeers, Change-Up, Mr. Popper

by Sophia Savage
June 13, 2011 9:00 AM
16 Comments
  • |
Thompson on Hollywood


The trailers that played in front of X-Men: First Class -- a disappointment in itself after so many strong early reviews -- were about as inspiring as January Jones' line delivery. We were, however, inspired to compile this list of trailers that have turned their films into musts-to-avoid. We can't decide which looks worse, Green Lantern (June 17) or The Three Musketeers (October 14) (you can vote in our poll below). The former is a reportedly $300 million movie that should guarantee Ryan Reynolds is never taken seriously again, with co-star/man-candy Blake Lively's over-exposure far more entertaining than the sub-par CGI aliens. As for Musketeers, the new trailer now playing at a theater new you (the old one is below) plays like soft-core porn for 15-year old girls.

Milla Jovovich and Juno Temple are going to have a hard time looking pretty next to Orlando Bloom, Logan Lerman, Matthew Macfadyen and Luke Evans. With the arrival of the film's new poster, ThePlaylist considers which cast member is humiliated the most, and points out that based on EW's on-set interview (below) with Bloom, he was "was Richard Harris-level drunk throughout the entire filming, so he may have no recollection of being in the film at all, saving him the humiliation."

And then there's the ample array of juvenile trash sucking at the teat of the summer box office: Mr. Popper's Penguins (June 17), The Smurfs in 3D (July 29) and Zookeeper (July 8), which just have us asking "why?" Not to be excluded from our consideration of horrible trailers are the crude reworkings of plots already thoroughly exploited: Friends with Benefits (July 22), Horrible Bosses (July 8) and The Change-Up (August 5). Justin Timberlake's alleged appeal continues to amaze us. And of course there's the girl-fantasy flick Monte Carlo, shoving annoying teenage girls (and celebs playing caricatures of stereotypes they represent) down our throats. As for Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts? We'd love to love it, but Larry Crowne looks like a confused, lifeless mess.

We're actually looking forward to Transformers: Dark of the Moon compared to these box office abominations. Here's TOH's summer preview.

Which looks the worst?
Green Lantern
Three Musketeers
Friends with Benefits
Mr. Popper's Penguins
The Change-Up
Zookeeper
Monte Carlo
The Smurfs
Larry Crowne
  
pollcode.com free polls



16 Comments

  • wayne martin | July 22, 2011 6:03 AMReply

    In anticipation for "The Change Up" find out who your change up is on FB: http://on.fb.me/ChangeUpApp

  • Bob | June 15, 2011 6:51 AMReply

    Green Lantern might be cool. I'm a big fan, and basically know what to expect. The trailer doesn't do a good job of explaining the world to people who know nothing about GL. They should explain the Corp, the Guardians, what the ring does, etc.

    It's funny that one person posted it should be a cartoon. IT WAS!

  • Kathy SF | June 14, 2011 11:19 AMReply

    Reverse phychology perhaps? Gawd, you are in this business to prop up, ain't you?

  • Tom | June 14, 2011 9:21 AMReply

    hahahaha worst Trailers? Those are the best so far. You guys suck so hard its not even funny!

  • Sergio | June 14, 2011 8:14 AMReply

    Agreed. Green Lantern looks like it's going to the THE WORST. Talk about CGI overload. I can't be the only one tired of this crap or maybe it's because I'm an adult.

    As for Musketeers do your self a favor and see the Richard Lester's 1974 version (and the sequel which came out the following year). No film version can beat that one even with...yawn...3D

  • Mark | June 14, 2011 8:05 AMReply

    X-Men: First Class is a disappointment? Not the one I saw.

  • Findley | June 14, 2011 8:02 AMReply

    X-Men: First Class a disappointment? Not the one I saw--it's still at a respectable 87% on Rotten Tomatoes too. In fact, I'm going to see it again today. It's Box Office is healthy, especially not that the foreign venues are opening--so who's disappointed?

  • Bill | June 14, 2011 5:44 AMReply

    Funny, the trailer for Larry Crowne makes me really, REALLY want to see the film.

  • Brian | June 14, 2011 4:43 AMReply

    Wow, GREEN LANTERN looks horrible. From that trailer, I couldn't even tell what it's about other than some monstrous force attacking Earth (why?) and only Green Lantern defending it--with a ring and a lot of CGI effects. And who were all those other weird critters in Green Lantern outfits? In fact, there's so much CGI in it, I don't understand why they didn't just make an animated film in the first place. But then, I say that about so many films these days.

  • Brian | June 14, 2011 2:41 AMReply

    I'm with you on TRANSFORMERS 3. That's the only one I'm looking forward to.

    Disagree with you on THE CHANGE-UP. I saw a bunch of comedy trailers in front of BRIDESMAIDS and THE CHANGE-UP was the only one that got a laugh out of me. Don't know if I'll bother with the film, though, but the trailer didn't annoy me.

  • ag | June 13, 2011 10:39 AMReply

    ps -- totally forgot about popper's penguins. this trailer doesn't matter cause this isn't the 80s and nobody wants to see a movie like this anymore. so, you can make a movie like this, tack any kind of trailer to it, and anyone that's going to see it will see it.

    this is a movie about a guy who has penguins in his apartment and does song and dance bits with them. i'm assuming they knew it would fail miserably before first day of shooting, so, everybody's happy. right?

  • ag | June 13, 2011 10:19 AMReply

    seriously, had to think about that one. (no shit. was thinking, deliberating. maybe for 15 seconds -- felt like .85 minutes though). was going to go with 3 musketeers, but then thought 'who the hell cares'. bad trailer? has no effect. the suckage on this movie is knee-deep. bad trailer, bad poster, bad script, bad movie. so what. it is what it's supposed to be. like, is anybody that pays for a ticket going to be surprised? will they come out of the theater saying 'holy shit. the trailers looked so good, but the movie was so bad?' don't think so. next option?

    then thought it had to be larry crowne because that has more pedigree, but then was all like, if you wanna see julia roberts and tom hanks in a sappy sleepless-style rom-com, well fine, doesn't matter what the trailer looks like, you're gonna see it, like it, tell your friends how good it was, etc. doesn't matter. people are going to see this no matter how bad the trailers are. next option?

    after several more seconds of internal turmoil, settled on green lantern cause (if you're still reading) this is the trailer that, out of the group, should deliver and doesn't. it's a 'serious' super-hero effort that should have wow-factor but the trailer just looks...funny. yes, i mean 'ha ha' funny. silly. fucking embarrassing. when a trailer for a super-hero movie has squirm factor -- that's a bad bad sign. he puts the ring on and flies around and fights bad guys with 50-cal aa gun and launches a gasoline tanker truck into the air with (choke) giant springs, then shoots the truck in front of the bad guy's face causing a giant fireball that, frankly, shouldn't even faze the bad guy cause he's this evil entity from outer space and everything, but he reels like 'ow! fire! burns!' it goes on and on with people running and screaming and everything has that stupid green light around it. doesn't stop for like 2, two and a half minutes -- feels like three, or 3 1/2, maybe 3.75 -- just drags. bad. so bad

    currently, green lantern has the worst trailer-to-expectations ratio.

    (would love to see green lantern tank and super 8 come first again. would fucking love that)

  • JC | June 13, 2011 10:16 AMReply

    I saw the first "Green Lantern" trailer online a couple of months ago (not the one you've posted here) and couldn't believe how bad it looked. According to this movie, two of the top military test pilots are 23-year-old Blake Lively (23!) and a slacker portrayed by Ryan Reynolds. The night before his big flight he goes out drinking, picks up a one night stand and then oversleeps the next morning. Because that's exactly the kind of behavior that gets you to the very top of your profession.

    I couldn't figure out if it was supposed to be an adventure movie, a comedy or an allegory for some big issue. What a mess.

  • Rubix | June 13, 2011 10:09 AMReply

    I was actually on board with this article until the Transformers 3 plug at the end. I am now inclined to believe the opposite of whatever this writer claims as good or bad.

  • Lantern Algae | June 13, 2011 9:59 AMReply

    Green Lantern looks awesome. Get a life.

  • Dan | June 13, 2011 9:43 AMReply

    You lost my respect when you deemed Green Lantern a joke.

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