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Press Release to Toh! from The Esteemed Dictator of The Republic of Wadiya

Thompson on Hollywood By Maggie Lange | Thompson on Hollywood April 18, 2012 at 4:02PM

To sell his upcoming film "The Dictator" (May 16), Sacha Baron Cohen, as is his wont, is immersing himself in character. Following Cohen's opening promo salvo --his intentional slip-up on Ryan Seacrest on the Oscar red carpet--Paramount now has blasted an official "press release" from the Esteemed Dictatorship of The Republic of Wadiya (below).
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The Dictator

To sell his upcoming film "The Dictator" (May 16), Sacha Baron Cohen, as is his wont, is immersing himself in character. Following Cohen's opening promo salvo --his intentional slip-up on Ryan Seacrest on the Oscar red carpet--Paramount now has blasted an official "press release" from the Esteemed Dictatorship of The Republic of Wadiya (below).

The Dictator II

Date:     April 18, 2012
From:     Office of Propaganda
RE:           Dartz Motorz PROMBRON (ex.RussoBaltique) Aladeen Edition
 
OFFICIAL STATEMENT FROM HIS EXCELLENCY ADMIRAL GENERALALADEEN – SUPREME LEADER, ALL TRIUMPHANT GENERAL, BELOVED OPPRESSOR, AND CHIEF OPHTHALMOLOGIST OF THE PEOPLE’S REPUBLIC OF WADIYA
 
His Excellency Admiral General Aladeen has graciously granted his express permission for Dartz Motorz, manufacturer of ultra-luxury armored vehicles and exclusive provider to the Wadiyan government motor pool, to offer limited edition commemorative vehicles honoring the Ruthless Protector of the Precious and Expendable People of Wadiya.  Like civil rights in Wadiya, this offer will not be around for long.
 
Named for the undemocratically and forcibly elected Leader of Wadiya, the gold Aladeen Edition armored vehicles will be revealed to the people of the world at the Top Marques Monaco show under the high patronage of His Serene Highness Prince Albert II of Monaco.  Top Marques Monaco, held at the Grimaldi Forum April 19 - 22, is revered as the world’s most exclusive supercar show where drivers experience firsthand the latest state-of-the-art machines on the prestigious Formula One racetrack, the Circuit de Monaco, mere weeks before the famous race takes place.  A race that Aladeen has already won.
 
The Dartz Motorz PROMBRON (ex.RussoBaltique) vehicle comes from a long line of armored vehicles more than a hundred years in the making; it was originally built in 1912 for Russian Tzar Nikolai II.  The PROMBROM was also NOT used in the accidental hit-and-run death of Wadiyan political opposition leader Maran Harouri, nor in the accidental repeated running over of the six witnesses to the hit-and-run.
 
Labeled the “World’s Most Expensive Armored Car,” the PROMBRON is the fastest and most maneuverable luxury armored all-road vehicle in the world.  With supercar power and the technology of a spaceship, it boasts very unique protection capabilities from level B2 to B7+, providing occupants with resistance to RPGs and .50 caliber high velocity armor piercing rounds (or as Aladeen calls them, “love letters from his people.”)
 
Furthermore, all Dartz vehicles come equipped with patented 3” ionized glass, also RPG resistant.  Each vehicle is handmade with great attention to sumptuous detail, exemplified in the exotic hand-stitched leathers and wood used in the interior, reclining massage seats, champagne bottle chillers and wine racks.  And there’s room in back for up to six kidnapped actresses or faded supermodels.
 
Ten Aladeen Edition vehicles will be made available aspart of this limited offer.  MSRP ranges from $500,000 to $750,000 (USD). Actual price will vary depending on equipment and package options.  (Price excludes title, taxes, registration, license fees, insurance, dealer prep and additional options.)  By purchasing one of these vehicles you are also legally agreeing to have sex with Aladeen.
 

This article is related to: Sacha Baron Cohen, Sacha Baron Cohen, Academy Awards, Marketing


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