First off, since this is supposed to be a film-centric website, I feel it is my duty to point you all in the direction of tonight's 8pm screening of Tom Quinn's The New Year Parade at the IFC Center. I finally got a chance to see it in Austin and think it has some of the best non-actor performances I've seen in quite some time (most notably Jennifer-Lynn Welsh). Mike Ryan wrote a thoughtful review over at Hammer to Nail that you should read.

But enough about movies. This weekend was all about college fucking basketball. Here are some thoughts/highlights/notes from watching four full days of tournament action...

--Apparently I don't listen to my parents, because it wasn't until midway through the West Virginia/Duke game that I realized WVU's spark plug, Joe Alexander, actually went to my high school! That's right, Linganore High School in Frederick, Maryland. When I played basketball there we certainly didn't have any Division I ready talent, let alone someone who would swat shots and bark in opponents' faces. The fact that it was Duke made the revelation all the more incredible. Hooray for Joe Alexander!

--The unexpected flash cut to Adam Morrison at the end of the Gonzaga/Davidson game had me flooded with thoughts of Swedish black metal and Columbine and I don't know what. At the time, I didn't realize he was wearing a sweat jacket. It looked like a full-on fucking trenchcoat! Either way, he looks like Billy Crudup playing Damien Echols in the big-screen adaptation of Paradise Lost. Terrifying, but terrifyingly awesome. Here, see for yourself...

--Speaking of Duke, it was hard for me to feel legitimate mocking glee in their loss, for I can't shake the feeling that their program has seriously declined in a broader sense. Watching that team, I didn't feel like I was watching an ACC powerhouse. They look like Krzywwenwnuwhhheiuwhiuwh's old school, High Point. Don't get me wrong, they suck and are awful and it's hilarious that they pooped out early once again, but I don't feel the burning hatred that I used to feel for them.

--As for burning hatred, I have to say, for me the new Duke is UCLA. They are talented and arrogant enough to really make me despise their every win. For those of you who don't know anything about this stuff and think sports are stupid compared to music, let me explain. Supreme penis Mike Love, Beach Boys frontman, is the uncle of UCLA's star freshman, Kevin Love. The exceptionally gifted freshman Love has also seemed to inherit his uncle's exceptional air of maddening cockiness. Saturday night's game was a true heartbreaker, and reeks of one of those near-death experiences that helps to create a National Champion. (Note: As much as I hate UCLA, I have them losing in the final to Kansas.)

--Along those lines, why is nobody obliterating Ben Howland for having one of the most athletic and quickest teams and continuing to play slow-down, half-court basketball? All they did was turn it on a tiny bit in the end and they had A&M reeling. It's like Howland is committed to this bruiser style of half-court ball, but when you have a ridiculously quick squad, it feels unethical and stupid and wrong to not push-push-push for all forty minutes. Is this not glaringly obvious to anyone else?

--Watching head coaches Bo Ryan and Frank Martin go head to head in the Wisconsin/Kansas State game was like witnessing two crystal meth-fueled cops battle over who was responsible for cracking the high profile case. Those dudes should be forced to wear sunglasses. Their maniacal, poked out eyeball glares are absolutely insane and frighten me through the television. I can only imagine getting pulled over by someone like that late at night.

--It's always uncomfortable when the announcers have to plug next week's lineup of dumb-ass sitcoms. Usually, there's a moment of silence before the other announcer returns to talk of basketball. But every now and then one of them tries to overstep his bounds and discuss something related to the show, bridging that gap and maybe even sounding 'hip' in the process. This weekend resulted in my all-time favorite example of this. More specifically, why this is a dangerous, bad idea. I forget which game it was, and which announcer it was, but it went like this: The main announcer was talking about the hee-lar-ee-uss upcoming episode of Two and a Half Men. When he finished, there was a pause, at which point the other announcer said, as if thinking out loud and not considering what he was saying: "I wonder what college Charlie Sheen went to?" After an uncomfortable, awkward pause, he added, once again not seeming to consider what he was saying: "Ah, he probably didn't go to college." Genius.

--Do people who watch college basketball really buy that many cars? I don't watch television so I don't know anything about commercials anymore, but after four days of serious TV action I was stunned at the repetition in advertising and the nearly exclusive devotion to automobiles in CBS' March Madness advertising. Just a thought.

Six of my Sweet Sixteen teams are gone, but I'm still alive in the Final Four and beyond. While I'm glad there is a break in action, I'll also be ready to get it on come Thursday night.

Speaking of getting it on, I'm leaving New York City tomorrow until the end of May. So long, suckas!