By tully | "Boredom at Its Boredest" by Michael Tully July 7, 2006 at 5:19AM
Okay, so I, like, totally used to want to, like, *love* Ashlee Simpson, but her nose kept getting in the way. Like, all the pieces were in place: the style, the songs, the voice, the everything. I mean, all the pieces except for the nose. It was such a honker that I couldn't even hear her music without SEEING the nose. That's weird, right? But it's totally true! I mean, here was this incredibly talented punk rocker who just, like, *got it*, ya know? She danced, she sang, she said everything that I FEEL. But that ginormous nose kept getting in the way.
That's because I just caught a glimpse of the new-and-improved Ashlee and I'm, like, totally speechless! She looks sooooo amazing, I can't even believe my own eyes! Now there's nothing stopping her. I can't wait to see what she comes up with next. Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, Ashlee. You totally made my day!
(In serious matters, copy and paste this link to download an mp3 of the Metallic Falcons' "Nighttime and Morning." Haunting and purty. Real purty...)