By tully | "Boredom at Its Boredest" by Michael Tully May 7, 2007 at 7:28AM


I need a job. Like, tomorrow. Like, RIGHT NOW. Does anyone need anything done? I'll walk your parakeet, I'll scrub your refrigerator, I'll write you a song. I might even kill someone for you. Just let me know if you need anything done and you're willing to pay, and I'm the man for the job. Or if you know of any jobs, or if you know of anything, or if, or if, or if, or if. You get the point. Thanks for your support. PA, grocery store, transcribing, private detective, whatever you need.

I just got back from Baltimore. This year's Maryland Film Festival was another incredibly fun ride. It was sad to say goodbye to Mr. Swanberg this morning, as today officially ended our four-festival run. It was one for the ages.

Speaking of one for the ages, Friday night's John Waters hosted dive bar crawl through the seedier white trash establishments in Bal'more was beyond legendary. At the first bar, while I was talking to Mr. Waters himself, the cover band's hairy lead guitarist was stomping around behind the bar, two feet in front of us, wailing away on a cordless axe and using a shot glass as a slide. I said, "I have to take a picture of this!" and he said, "No, don't! Everybody in here is a drug dealer or on parole!" He then got serious and said, "Everyone in here has at least three DUI's. I'm not kidding." Hilarious. The crawl consisted of four bars, followed by a late night return to John's house for even more surreality. Fortunately, Kent Osborne was there to take pictures. His MFF visual wrap-up will be better than anything I could have dreamed up, so that took the pressure off and I didn't snap one picture the entire weekend. Everyone, tell Kent to hurry up and get that mofo ready to rock! A special mention goes to Matthew Porterfield (HAMILTON), who played unit production manager/assistant director on Friday night, coordinating far too many people for no reason other than he's a supercool guy.

Another special thank you goes out to guest programmer Lodge Kerrigan, who helped to make sure SILVER JEW was in the main program. Lodge's demand to screen Marcel Ophuls' staggering 1972 documentary, A SENSE OF LOSS, was a true highlight of the festival--a seminal viewing experience. I can't stop thinking about it.

Speaking of seminal viewing experiences, I finally got to see FROWNLAND, which shocked me to my core. I'm going to devote an entire update to Ronnie Bronstein's tour-de-force in the coming days. Watching FROWNLAND, I felt like I was watching the emergence of a true visionary, not just some dude who wanted to make a movie. They don't make 'em like this anymore. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.

Lastly, is anyone hiring, or does anyone know of a job out there? I know I haven't mentioned this before, but I'm desperate to make some quick cash. Like, tomorrow. Like, RIGHT NOW...

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