New Lingo: "A Rolling Stone Handjob"

By tully | "Boredom at Its Boredest" by Michael Tully October 27, 2006 at 5:54AM

New Lingo: "A Rolling Stone Handjob"
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While I had a blast watching THE DEPARTED, I find it rather disappointing that people are using words like "great" and "brilliant" to describe it. It was entertaining and well executed on just about every level, but "great" and "brilliant?" Really? Are you sure? I worry that the almost universally glowing praise the film is receiving has a rather easy explanation. Which brings us to tonight's lesson, ladies and gentleman. Without further ado, I'd like to introduce another phrase into the Boredom at Its Boredest lexicon. First, there was "The Coldplay Effect." Now, there is "A Rolling Stone Handjob." Here is the definition:

An aging artist releases a new record that is above average, yet it is nowhere near the level of his or her very best work. Yet somehow the fact that it doesn't suck, combined with the fact that the artist's previous several efforts have sucked royally, causes the reviewer to think the new record is far better than it actually is. It causes them to use superlatives like "great" and "brilliant" and "masterpiece," when the record is simply above average and good.

I know I always say that I stopped caring about the Oscars several years ago every chance that I get, but the fact remains that there is absolutely no way Martin Scorsese deserves a Best Director Oscar for THE DEPARTED. I'm not saying Todd Field deserves it either, I'm just talking about Marty at the moment. And while I truly enjoyed the movie, I don't think it belongs anywhere near the Oscars (aside from Leonardo DiCaprio's performance, perhaps).

In other words: Martin Scorsese is going to win Best Director this year.

This article is related to: Film in General