Many months ago, when this whole "Cocaine Angel" thing was in pre-pre-production, I had a dream in which my cellphone rang and I picked it up. The voice on the other line spoke in an English accent. It was Max Richter, the composer of my dreams (www.maxrichter.com). He told me he wanted me to use his music for my film. I woke up the next morning flushed with embarrassment. It was one of those pathetic "wishful thinking" dreams that makes one cringe to reflect upon in the harsh light of morning. You know the type.
Well, this past Saturday, that dream somehow managed to claw its way out of my deep inner subconscious and firmly lodge itself in the actual-factual narrative of my literal existence.
In layman's terms, I talked to Max Richter on the telephone.
But wait, it gets better.
He had spent the night before watching the most up-to-date version of "Cocaine Angel," and gave the film--and our placement of his music in it--his thorough seal of approval. This might not mean much to you, gentle reader, but it was a landmark occasion for this insecure, unsure writer. It was the first confirmation I've ever received on such a distinguished level. Max Richter told me that our images actually enhanced his music--HUH???
That said, we're not completely in the clear. We still have to go through the label (BBC) for clearance (of course I chose to use music from "memoryhouse," not "The Blue Notebooks," which would have been a much simpler process, as Fat Cat is a smaller crew than the fucking B-B-C). Anyway, he's going to speak to them himself and put in a good word. My plan with all the music is to go the festival rights route, and I have a hunch that if I present my case honestly and tenderly enough, they'll oblige. But who knows.
Either way, a gargantuan personal wall toppled for me this weekend. I wish I had been born with overflowing self-assurance and self-confidence, but it didn't happen that way. But somehow, I've gradually begun to feel myself letting go of the insecurities and worries that plagued me throughout my twenties. Rather than spending my days wondering why I wasn't doing shit and wishing that I was doing shit, I've decided to simply Do Shit. I highly recommend it!
Of course, I'll be miserable by Tuesday, but for now, I'm riding this positive train into more (hopefully) sweet dreams...