The End of Politics

By tully | "Boredom at Its Boredest" by Michael Tully December 2, 2005 at 1:59AM

The End of Politics

Here are six terms that I never want to hear again:

“Left” (those last two in a political sense, obviously)

I am as sick of ignorant, stubborn conservatives (i.e., republicans) as I am pretentious, condescending liberals (i.e., democrats), and so I refuse to align myself with either party.

Let me offer a simplified breakdown:

Republicans are terrified creatures whose lives are controlled by fear. Most prominently, fear of the unknown (basically everything that exists two-and-a-half feet beyond their zone of circumference). It is this irrational, unwarranted fear that drives them to the top of the preachy pulpit, where they judge any- and everything with the wrath of a corrupt, stupid dictator. If they don’t understand it, it is WRONG. Their awe-inspiring stubbornness allows them to justify their own immoral and illegal actions without ever having to feel guilty about it.

Meanwhile, Democrats are absolute pussies. They’re like a point guard who gets stripped of the ball and rather than busting his ass to get back on defense, he instead runs over to the referee to bitch about the missed call. Democrats see what is happening and are intuitive enough to envision a solution, but they’re ultimately too weak and passive to act upon it. They’re observers, not participants. They’re fucking pussies.

More simply put:

Republicans = Preachy, Paranoid Pulpit
Democrats = Pretentious, Passive Podium

How much energy is currently being spent in congress with Democrats trying to bust Republicans for past mistakes and Republicans wasting even more time rebuking those efforts? Is it just me, or does the senate feel like a middle school lunchroom on a particularly juvenile day? Shouldn’t we be concentrating on the TASK AT FUCKING HAND for at least one hour out of the day?

I know it seems impossible. Democrats, you think the Republicans win yet again if Bush and Cheney aren’t fully exposed for “misleading the American people.” Republicans, there’s nothing you enjoy more than getting a Democrat all riled up. It’s a really fun game, I’m sure. BUT IT ISN’T HELPING ANYTHING.

Both sides, could you please grow the fuck up and start acting like sensitive, open-minded, considerate adults who don't have chips on their shoulders the size of Mt. Rushmore? Or, if not, could you at least pretend for a day or two? My nerves could use a respite, however brief and fleeting.

Before I go, one last thought:

It is just as bad for a redneck to make a racist remark as it for an intellectual to make fun of a redneck. IT'S THE SAME FUCKING THING, you idiots.

This article is related to: Miscellaneous