I'm in Maryland now. Today was spent overdosing on television, the likes of which I haven't done in a long, long time. I watched five movies--too tired to offer any opinions right now, but here they are: JOHNNY BERLIN; BRING IT ON; FINALLY, LILLIAN AND DAN; REQUIEM; and BAD COMPANY. I also managed to watch almost every single second of the Masters. How is that humanly possible, considering it's only 10:30pm right now? Anyway, my eyeballs hurt, but it was still very refreshing to have a day where I had nowhere to be and nothing to do except make my eyeballs hurt in such a passive, relaxing fashion.
In nine days I'll be embarking on a pretty amazing festival run with Swanberg and Zobel and many others (Sarasota-Nashville-Boston), but tomorrow begins a week of house painting and doing absolutely nothing SILVER JEW-related. By Tuesday afternoon I'll have forgotten that I even made that thing, but thankfully, the following Tuesday's flight to Sarasota will remind me that I did, in fact, do something creative and productive last year.
While the rest of my week at home is going to be focused on Not Spending One Fucking Dollar and Eating A Ton Of Good Food, I'm also gearing up to write a new script. This one promises to be yet another Michael Tully Masterpiece, which will never get past the first-draft stage and will sit on my hard drive, bored and ignored for the rest of its wimpy life. But right now I'm feeling so hopeless about my creative endeavors that the mere act of creating is a moral victory. Granted, writing a script is akin to silent burping in an empty backyard, but it at least means that I've got the spark inside me and haven't given up completely on this rather ridiculous concept of me being able to one day call myself a full-time filmmaker.
I should probably be concentrating all of my efforts on PING-PONG SUMMER, but when I can't figure out how to pay my rent for May and don't have one dollar of financing for PPS, it's hard to stay focused. Not to mention the fact that I recently found out about Jessica Yu's new film. It's a narrative comedy called PING PONG PLAYA. Of course it is. Granted, I have absolute faith in my vision of PPS--it will be like none of these other ping-pong comedies--but it's still frustrating. Especially in my current state of mind, which isn't very pretty. But that will pass. It always does.
And even if it doesn't, there are always these beautiful faces to remind me that making movies doesn't mean donkey in the grand scheme of things...