It’s Oscar time, and in the tradition of columns past, The Back Row Manifesto is dedicating itself to incomplete, ranting coverage of Hollywood’s always entertaining onanistic orgy of self-congratulation by piping up with our own highly selective look at the nominees. To be honest, this year’s crop of nominated films and performances seems to be an above average assembly of high quality work, but at the same time, the omissions in many of the categories leave a bad taste in my mouth. This year’s Paul Giamatti Sideways Awards for Most Glaring Snub by the Academy go to Werner Herzog’s Grizzly Man (omitted from an otherwise worthy list of documentary feature nominees), Jeff Daniels (who was terrific in The Squid and The Whale) and Maria Bello (who was the Best Supporting Actress for her work in A History of Violence). Otherwise, the Academy did a pretty good job of looking at their own reflection in the mirror and deciding who is the fairest of them all. Grab your pen and your office Oscar pool, and get ready to copy answers off of my paper because it’s time to pick some winners!

And the nominees are…

Best Animated Feature Film of the Year
Howl's Moving Castle by Hayao Miyazaki
Tim Burton's Corpse Bride by Tim Burton and Mike Johnson
Wallace & Gromit in the Curse of the Were-Rabbit by Nick Park and Steve Box

The BRM Selects…Corpse Bride! The film, a whimsical musical story about a Victorian named Victor who accidentally marries a corpse, not only delights in its stop-motion mayhem, brings out the inner goth-punk in everyone. To me, that’s fighting the good fight. I didn’t rank Howl’s Moving Castle as among Miyazaki’s best films (although I enjoyed it very much) and despite my own inclinations, I expect Wallace and Gromit to win on Oscar night.

Best Documentary Feature
Darwin's Nightmare by Hubert Sauper
Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room by Alex Gibney and Jason Kliot
March of the Penguins by Luc Jacquet and Yves Darondeau
Murderball by Henry-Alex Rubin and Dana Adam Shapiro
Street Fight by Marshall Curry

The BRM Selects… Darwin’s Nightmare, which is one of the great documentaries of our time. Here is a criminally under seen film that could really use the boost of an Oscar win in order to encourage viewers to take in its absolutely urgent and devastating message and try to do something about the impact of global trade on poor nations. Also, no offense to Street Fight, but c’mon; where the hell is Grizzly Man? Instead, I expect the fucking penguins to march up on stage and take the Oscar, because it is a chance for Hollywood to show itself as “in touch” with America’s “values”. This is the intersection of politics and entertainment where I jump out of the car, pulling my hair out of my head.

Will the story of cuddly penguins triumph over the terror of real human suffering?

Best Foreign Language Film of the Year
Don't Tell
Joyeux Noël
Paradise Now
Sophie Scholl - The Final Days
Tsotsi

The BRM Selects… Paradise Now, which is definitively the best of this bunch, but which didn’t even crack my own personal top ten of foreign titles. I think it is so strange that the Academy makes up exotic rules for foreign and documentary films; ever hear of standardizing the process? Why don’t the members of the Academy decide upon which films are in this category? As a film programmer, I can tell you it would not be so hard for the nominating committee to watch all of the foreign films theatrically released in the United States. It is a dumb process that bears no reflection on the American film market. As for Paradise Now, let’s see if there is any courage in those Hollywood liberal convictions. I’d die of shock if this film won, so I’ll go on a limb and pick feel-good Joyeux Noël to win. Sigh.

Will Hollywood vote for a film from a Palenstinian perspective?

Best Adapted Screenplay
Brokeback Mountain
Capote
The Constant Gardener
A History of Violence
Munich

The BRM Selects… Brokeback Mountain, which may go down in history as the definitive literary adaptation for the screen. Here is a script that gets everything right, from the tone of the original to the perfect expansion of the original’s themes. It is an absolute lock in this category.

Best Original Screenplay
Crash
Good Night, and Good Luck.
Match Point
The Squid and the Whale
Syriana

The BRM Selects… The Squid and the Whale. I just loved it, and it is a note perfect rendering of a very specific community; Park Slope’s married intellectuals, who to this day push their baby strollers past me on the sidewalks of our shared neighborhood. This one is a sentimental choice, and I hope it wins, but I expect Hollywood to vote for another community it knows much more intimately; the guilt-ridden, racially divided Los Angeles of Crash.

Will the egocentrism of Park Slope or the racial anxiety of Los Angeles carry the day?

Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role
Amy Adams in Junebug
Catherine Keener in Capote
Frances McDormand in North Country
Rachel Weisz in The Constant Gardener
Michelle Williams in Brokeback Mountain

The BRM Selects… Amy Adams! Another worthy winner who will probably go unrewarded, Adams brought soul and vitality to the role of a chatter-box sister-in-law who just wants to connect to something bigger than the narrow confines of her own life. To be honest, this may be the weakest field in years for this category, which is not a criticism of these fine, deserving actors. Instead, this is clearly all about the dearth of quality roles written for women. I’m going to follow the Golden Globes on this one, and expect Rachel Weisz to win.

Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role
George Clooney in Syriana
Matt Dillon in Crash
Paul Giamatti in Cinderella Man
Jake Gyllenhaal in Brokeback Mountain
William Hurt in A History of Violence

The BRM Selects…. Paul Giamatti! I would be happy watching Giamatti do just about anything on screen, and his spirited turn in Cinderella Man was just as good as anything else he has done, all of which is deserving of recognition and all of which continually goes overlooked. That said, if George Clooney doesn’t walk away with the award, I’ll be shocked.

Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role
Judi Dench in Mrs. Henderson Presents
Felicity Huffman in Transamerica
Keira Knightley in Pride & Prejudice
Charlize Theron in North Country
Reese Witherspoon in Walk the Line

The BRM Selects…Felicity Huffman, whose role as a transsexual is a wonderfully complicated performance in a film that teaches tolerance and understanding. Hey, it worked for Hillary Swank! Unfortunately for Ms. Huffman, this award traditionally goes to an up-and-comer who brings in the box office, so Reese Witherspoon is the probable winner.

Can Felicity Huffman overcome the historical bias toward younger actresses?

Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role
Philip Seymour Hoffman in Capote
Terrence Howard in Hustle & Flow
Heath Ledger in Brokeback Mountain
Joaquin Phoenix in Walk the Line
David Strathairn in Good Night, and Good Luck.

The BRM Selects… Philip Seymour Hoffman, who should also win this award when the envelope is opened. This, in my opinion, is such a comprehensive performance (Hoffman is so literally transformed) that it may go down as the role of a lifetime. That said, Phil Hoffman is such a good actor that I expect him to achieve transcendence in every role he undertakes. A very worthy win.

Achievement in Directing
Brokeback Mountain by Ang Lee
Capote by Bennett Miller
Crash by Paul Haggis
Good Night, and Good Luck. by George Clooney
Munich by Steven Spielberg

The BRM Selects… Ang Lee. Brokeback Mountain is such an amazing accomplishment primarily because of Lee’s channeling of John Ford, Howard Hawks, and the America’s cinematic history. From the wide-open skies to the intimate close-ups, the film tells its story with absolute mastery and perfection. This is a strong line-up, but Lee and Brokeback represent the perfect union of subject and artist.

Best Motion Picture of the Year
Brokeback Mountain
Capote
Crash
Good Night, and Good Luck.
Munich

The BRM Selects…Brokeback Mountain, which will easily walk away with this award. The film is a masterpiece, and in a social climate of intolerance and violence, it also stands as a call for reason and empathy. Message aside, the film is an astonishing piece of filmmaking that not only captures the tone of one of the greatest American stories, but transcends it. This is a film that would win this award in almost any year, and this year will be no exception.

Big Winner? Can Ang Lee's Brokeback Mountain score a victory in the culture wars?