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Want to Write a Guest Post for Women and ...Guest Post: Pondering Nora Ephron, You’ve Got Mail: The Film That Made Me Love Film
I grew nervous that he was going to make us go around and each share our own experience—it was a small class and my professor typically launched into such tangents—and I began to rack my brain for a response. My experience as a film major had engrained in me an odd sense of shame about my taste in movies. But, his lecture meandered in another direction and, as it did, I felt an overwhelming sense of relief.
Later that day, as my classmates and I sat in our respective booths in the editing room, they started up the conversation I had been dreading. They talked about “their” films and the girls and boys in my class all seemed to agree on movies such as Indiana Jones and Jurassic Park. They were especially supportive of our professor’s choice. Although their picks were not pretentious and I had seen most of them, I still could not bring myself to agree nor did I think that any of my peers would share a love of what I considered to be my film, You’ve Got Mail.
For my twelfth birthday my dad gave me the script of Nora Ephron’s You’ve Got Mail; it was a used copy that he bought from some shady guy in Union Square. Even now as I read the lines, I recall every intonation, every pause, every smirk within the snappy dialogue. I know all to well the way in which Joe Fox revises drafts of his emails to Kathleen Kelly, pressing forcefully down on the delete button for each letter instead of simply holding it down and allowing the words to quickly disappear. As a young girl I would watch the movie over and over on the VCR in my parents’ bedroom. My heartbeat never fails to accelerate each time Joe and Kathleen pass each other on a street corner, completely unaware that the stranger besides them is the one with whom they share a secret, romantic correspondence.
Over the past few years, I have become sensitive to the fact that my obsession with a romantic comedy like You’ve Got Mail is considered silly, especially by cinephiles - and by that I mostly mean my classmates - who define themselves as such. I know that this is because the film is unrealistic, cheesy, and mainstream, but I can’t help but think: isn’t Star Wars also all of those things? And despite it’s negative qualities, You’ve Got Mail had something for me as a young girl that Star Wars didn’t; that is, characters who are not defined by archaic gender roles.
Unlike contemporary action films, the modern romantic comedy is not usually discussed in an academic way and thus I have felt embarrassed about liking it. Sure, we can talk about Howard Hawks, but why does Michael Bay get more credit from my fellow film students than Nora Ephron?
I remained silent as my peers chatted in the editing room about the films they loved as children because I knew that my classmates and my professors would probably never consider my “chick flick” to be a serious film. I wish I had been able to speak up and I hope that from now on I will. Although it is not my favorite film -- mine is Thelma & Louise-- You’ve Got Mail was the film that made me love film and there is nothing shameful in that.
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Charlotte Hauser studies film at Wesleyan University and is currently an intern for Chicken & Egg Pictures.
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Thank you Michael for the nice compliment ~ I love the photos you took of Kim, great work ~
May 22, 2013 8:57 PM -
Melissa, thank you for this! You're right - it's great to read thoughts from a
May 22, 2013 4:42 PM -
I meant to say, I am glad some filmmakers are courageous enough to put this conversation on the
May 22, 2013 3:38 PM -
Of course women fantasize about being prostitutes, and so do men! If we are imaginative, we
May 22, 2013 3:33 PM -
Jesus h christ shut the fuck up. shes hot and thats kirks character. she did a great job in the film
May 22, 2013 1:57 PM
7 Comments
Joao Solimeo | July 10, 2012 7:57 PM
Michael Bay? Yuck! He´s got no talent at all. As for your post, nothing "wrong" about it. I just think that, as "cinema", "You´ve got mail" has nothing really new to offer. And I think "When Harry met Sally", written by Ephron, is way better.
Julie | July 10, 2012 1:54 AM
Wait a second...Michael Bay gets more credit Nora Ephron? You've Got Mail, Sleepless in Seattle and Julie & Julia show way more talent and skill in directing than anything Michael Bay has ever directed.
I love action movies, but I'd never site Michael Bay as a favorite action director.
I think comedy over all doesn't get much respect or recognition which is too bad. I think it's pretty hard to pull off good comedy. Nora Ephron was a talented director, is my point.
Cathlene Bell-Dumas | July 9, 2012 7:31 PM
Good on you! I too was a film major in college, and was also the minority gender. It hit the hardest in screenwriting classes, especially when we were asked to collaborate on a script. All the boys wanted to do was bring in these action-heavy characters, with little regard for reflection and dialogue. Although I ultimately learned from them about the power of action laced with dialogue, I can feel your pain, as these sorts of films (to which I would add "inspirational" films) often get a bad rap in the cinephile world. Props for bringing them out onto the table for discussion!
Therese Shechter | July 9, 2012 4:16 PM
That same conversation in my Film Production 101 class has stayed with me for many years. There were only 2 women in a class of about 25, and if you took me out of the equation the average age was 20. I was 35. By far the most-cited film was The Empire Strikes Back, but I think that had a lot to do with the very limited film-watching backgrounds of these guys as much as anything else. I wish I could remember what the other woman said, something along the lines of Eraserhead, I think. I said my favorite was All About Eve, one of THE great proto-chick-flicks. Then my professor showed us Citizen Kane, which I was amazed to discover most people hadn't seen either. When I told my classmates I had seen Star Wars and Empire when they first came out in the theaters, I became coolest chick in the class. I told them to rent All About Eve.
Alida Brill | July 9, 2012 3:35 PM
Hooray! for your generation..My favorite film as a 9 year old girl was Gigi...try to live that down for the rest of a very long feminist life.
Good post. thanks.
Liz | July 9, 2012 1:15 PM
This was great! As a fellow film student and female, there was always a hesitation and shame in defending my deep love for romantic comedies (You've Got Mail being one of the best in the genre!). In spite of the bad rap they get, rom-coms are an extremely valuable genre, as you said playing with gender roles and there has been in recent years really important scholarship on the genre. I now see the importance in speaking up for rom-coms and protest when someone tries to knock it. Especially if they're going to bad-mouth Nora Ephron or You've Got Mail. . .them's fighting words.
Linn | July 9, 2012 12:00 PM
Nothing shameful at all! And I don't agree with the word "silly" at all. I bet every one of your colleagues and your professor is exploring love in their real life. Unless they're asexual and dislike intimacy with anyone - they have feelings of love. Which means some part of them wants romance, and probably laughter in their life, and thus... romantic comedy. A good one preferably, of course, but nevertheless - romantic comedy. :) No man is an island.